When R.KARTHIK finally realised the futility of his life and decided to give it up, he was 30. What took him this long, I can only wonder! Even with the retarded mental capabilities that he was blessed with, 30 years was sure a long time for a realisation that was evident and glaring from day one. Ladies and Gentleman, we are happy to announce the death of the most useless being ever born on this earth. Considering the time and energy wasted on his life, we have decided not to waste any more on his funeral service. However his life is an exemplary example of how not to live and hence begs elucidation for the enlightenment of humanity:
Born in an orthodox Brahmin family in Kumbakonam, his entire life can be summed up in a single idiom - "Going through the motions". He went to school because he was put into one, attended college because he was forced to and worked a job because he had to. Complacent enough to do that which everyone else was doing, he never pushed the envelope. His only aspiration being living within the framework of what the society termed acceptable, he never truly lived even a single day. Death was just being merciful in taking away something too pitiable to be even termed as life. Never did he aspire to find a reason for his birth for there was none to be found in the first place.
Well then, was there nothing remarkable about him? Oh there was one - Ate like a pig!He always did! But somehow his weight was never commensurate with his eating capabilities as if he was trying to apologize for being born by occupying the least possible space on earth. May his soul rot in hell and let no word ever be uttered about reincarnation. In his case even one life was one too many!!
Writing your own obituary, that's an author's dream! Sorry folks I am not dead.. yet.And that's not a troll obituary either. If I were to die now, that's how my obituary would look provided people are given the license to be frightfully frank. I am nearing my 30th birthday. Looking back, that's a half life well wasted. Till 30, my life has been so busy bending down to societal pressures and ticking all the mandatory check boxes - school, college, job, marriage that rarely did I get a say. Its a pity that most of us live our entire lives that way.
30 is half time. It's high time as well. I am done with pleasing almost every remotely known bloody bugger's expectations. Enough of having wasted my life trying to live with my head held up in the society. There is a better way to live - With both middle fingers held up to the society! Now that I have died already, time to be reborn!
P.S: In case I do die having lived life the same way as the previous 30 years, do me a favor. Fulfill my death wish. Publish the above obituary in The Hindu. Have always wanted to see my name published in that prestigious newspaper(How's that for "Die trying!"?). Don't fret though. They have the cheapest obituary rates in Delhi!
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